writing – Charlierobinsonbooks

Why I Have No Hair

Well. I mean…if I had hair I would have pulled it out this week. But it was too long for a title. (not my hair) I wonder if anyone reading this has self published a paperback with Amazon. I did it seamlessley with my first book, The Siege of Mr Khan’s Curry Shop, but this one, Who’s Got The Biscuits, ‘Ay caramba’.

And this is why I hate AI… I suggested a man pulling his hair out image. Oh well, pay peanuts and you get monkeys. So, my friends back to the plot. With a paperback you take a manuscript and you set the Trim, the Margins etc… I won’t bore you with whole shenanigns, but for arguments sake let us pretend I did it to the letter. One week later the author’s copy arrives and the margins are wrong. Okay, submit the manuscript again, but this time use the Amazon Template. A week later the second author’s copy arrives, and it is wrong. Not only are the margins wrong but now there are no paragraph indents. I guess AI has something to do with it.

I considered prayer but I’m told there are about 3000 various Gods, and I’m never quite sure which one works. I guess you could pick one randomly, but then you’re denying 2999 others. Is that blasphemy? I know the COE, and I guess the Catholics believe in blasphemy but what about the others? Anyaways, I went for a run instead. I guess I’m probably a Pagan at heart, because that seemed to work, at least it gave me an idea. Start again.

This is when it gets interesting. Here begineth the third submission. The margins are still wrong, but I have several characters in the book. One is called Janine (sassy, sarcastic and loved by all, but no one will tell her 😂) Another character, Mohammed (not the dead prophet) he’s a bit gormless (not the prophet the character). The template decided to change both names to ‘I’. Not throughout the whole book, just randomly. i.e. another character says. “I’m going to get Janine back.” This became, “I’m going to get I back,”

After a zillion YouTube videos on how to format a manuscript, posing the question on Amazon KDP community, because I began to think I was a bit dumb, I was no further and getting nowhere. So, I went for another run 😂

It was on this freezing, wet, cold run that I decided to start again, again. I went through the whole document, took out all the “I’s” and put in the original names. I discounted the Amazon margin guidelines and super duper hi-tec methods. I took a ruler, a paperback from my bookshelf which had the same page count as my book, and used the ancient method of measuring. 😂

Wow, I stand corrected AI got this one right 😉

Eurika! the margins are great, there are no more people called “I” and the paragraph indents are spot on, so from ebook to paperback in three weeks. Of course by the time I finish my next book I will have forgotten all about this adventure and probably repeat every step. Oh the joys of getting old 😂

Happy Trails, folks x

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

A very busy few weeks lately. Not only getting the new novel ready for publishing, but there’s the running. Esther Chilton sent me the final edit of my book and as always she has done such a wonderful job. Now begins the formatting and final examination. Hopefully it will be published in the next two weeks.

Anyway… back to the plot. Yup yours truly is a winner (twice in fact) We had the Nothern Relay Championships here a couple of weeks ago and I found myself in the A team. No pressure then! Three in a team, and each one of us ran 5k each. Guess who went last of the three? When you take over as last man in a relay and your team is ahead, trust me its not fun haha. But best foot forward as they say. We won with a margin of five minutes.

The following day I had a 10k race, and I wasn’t sure how much the previous day had taken out of me. There was only one way to find out, I guess. An undulating road race with forecast rain, not something I was looking forward to. Luckily the rain held off and the undulations were not as high as I’d expected. Once again it was best foot forward. To have a team win one day is fab. To then have an indivdiual win the following day? Well what can I say! There was a bottle of red wine opened that night. 😂

News of the new book has been social media’d. Hopefully it will be well recieved.

Have fun and happy trails x

The Heat Is On

I should be able to publish my second book in August and my third book is underway, but I have another challenge in one weeks time. After six months of various injuries I have missed so many runs. This affects my writing because a lot of planning is done on long runs. Now I’m back, I managed to secure a place on the Yorkshire Wolds Ultra. It’s a 55k race with 4,100 feet of elevation. So, a little recce was required. The Millington Loop is only 34k with 3,000 feet elevation, but it gave me chance to assess fitness, the views from the top of the Yorkshire Wolds are lovely, and in 27 degrees of sunshine it was a warm one.

Needless to say five hours out in the middle of nowhere, on your own, certainly gives you time to think. I killed a character off and then resurrected them, changed the plot completely, reintroduced an old character, and decided on an ending for the next book 😂 I guess it’s a little like therapy, but on the move and without a therapist, haha. My wife has told me I could benefit from therapy, but never to do it. She feels I may leave the practitioner with some form of traumatic disorder 🤷

Five hours was a bit slow, but that’s what happens when you stop to take photos and admire the view. I thought the circles at Thixendale were a mystical, archaeological site dating back thousands of years. But they were created by the artist Chris Drury in 2011. Oh well, I didn’t waste too much time praying to the long lost God’s of my ancestors 😉

So, if you do ever feel a little down, I can suggest getting out into the countryside, wherever you live. Run, walk, crawl, if need be. But in comparison to concrete, tarmac and the facilitation of life, it’ll certainly help.

Happy trails, folks x

Messing With FlexClip

Have you ever heard of a book trailer? They are similar to film trailers and the idea is that the public get very excited and can’t wait for the release. My second novel is very nearly finished and my wonderful editor Esther Chilton is doing the final edit and proofread. I’m not Tom Clancy or Stephen King, so I doubt there will be a hullabaloo in the literary world, but I thought I would give it a go. Neither do I have the backing of major publishers, so it had to be a DIY job.

I then spent a few hours researching free to use book trailer companies (like we all do). FlexClip popped up a few times and so I gave it a go. It was very easy to use, and I was pleased with the outcome. Bearing in mind I am but a simple Yorkshireman. We are renown for being miserable, no idea why, I’m quite happy most of the time. I’m not putting my “masterpiece” 😂 out into the world of social media just yet. I think if it goes out to early my fan will probably forget about it. I would be interested in any comments before it goes public though. Oh! it’s better with the sound up, probably the best bit 😂

Happy Trails, folks x

Do I Need My Book To Sell

People often ask me, ‘How many copies of your book have you sold?’ Which, I suppose is natural. I always give the same answer, ‘I don’t know.’ They seem perplexed by this. How could I not know? I have to go on to explain, I wanted to write a book, if it sells, then yippee! If it doesn’t I’m not going to lose sleep. My debut novel, The Siege of Mr Khan’s Curry Shop, was 20 years in the writing so I’m just so happy that I did it.

My next book took me 3 years, so I am getting better. I recently sent the first 300 words of my upcoming second novel to Writing Magazine for James McCreet to critique. My editor told me I was “brave” he doesn’t pull any punches. For me the first two lines of his summary was good enough. “I wouldn’t be at all surprised to read this at the start of a novel published by a best selling thriller author.” I’ll take that ☺️.

My editor, Esther Chilton, is a Godsend. I am very lucky to have found her as she helps turn an OK manuscript into, what I consider, a good book. So, maybe this second novel will sell and help to eliminate the perplexed look from peoples faces. I’m sure like all things, time will tell. If you have written a book and it’s published but not selling, hey! You have achieved, something so many other people dream of. Give yourself a pat or a high five, or what ever your cultural praise is. I’ve just started playing around with FlexClip where you can create a trailer for your forthcoming book. I’ll let you know how I get on next time.

Happy trails, folks. x

Critiqued

When I told my editor I was going to have the first 300 words of my forthcoming novel critiqued in Writers Magazine she said. “You’re brave!” James McCreet does a wonderful job of stripping your writing down to the bare bones. So I offered it up with some trepidation.

But, I am so glad I did. I’ll take his comments on board but overall I was so pleased with his summary. The phrase ‘Keep the Faith,’ springs to mind.

All I have to do now is complete the final edit of Who’s Got The Biscuits (I love the title but may have to tweak it, dunno)

Set in Bradford and Morocco it’s a thriller but with humour. I had so much fun writing the characters and hopefully will be published this August.

Happy Trails, folks x

What a Difference a Day Makes

I probably don’t need to tell you, but nature is such a phenomena in so many ways. I have started my new book a few weeks ago and was really struggling with the theme. I had the first half of Chapter One written, but I wasn’t sure what it was I was trying to write. The answer? Hike, get outside, climb the hills and let mother nature give you the peace and inspiration you need.

After two hours of hiking up, what we call, the 7 Hills I had the storyline mapped out, This will be the third book featuring Billy Lynch, his friends and family. The trouble that boy and his father get into is… believable, well kinda 😂

After the tranquillity of the forest and the hills and the turn in the weather I decided this week a trip to the coast would be in order. There is something awesome about rough seas. As a young man I once had the privilege of spearfishing during a storm in Gran Canaria. These days when I look out to sea I wonder if I was actually quite mad. But the today’s trek served it’s purpose as I walked I was inspired to write the darker side of the next book. Needless to say not everyone will survive. Ah, days can be so very different 😉 Happy Trails, folks x

Santorini

I was told Santorini was the most beautiful of all Greek Islands. I often wonder who comes up with this information. I mean yeah… it’s beautiful, but more beautiful than Kefalonia? I suppose it could be. It has whitewashed villages chiselled into the hillside with their blue… sorry AZURE rooftops. Apparently if you use the word AZURE instead of blue it gives you a heightened state of relaxation🤔. There are, of course the sunsets, these are the best sunsets in the world. So I am told.

If you’re seeking culinary delights on holiday then Kamari in Santorini won’t disappoint. The Voodoo Bar has a fabulous menu so, we had to go back twice. As an avid fish and seafood fan, a Greek island is always a food adventure for me and this place didn’t disappoint. Crispy calamari and whole sea bream was lush.

“What about the running?” I hear you ask, or not but you should know me by now. There are some great places to run or, if you’re not a heat lover like me, you can walk. I found a hill and I love hills, it was at the far end of the village. It led to Ancient Thera, built in the 8th Century BC at the top of the hill (although they call it a mountain) so, my wife suggested we walk it the day before and hide a bottle of water at the top. What a great idea! Ancient Thera is a surprise for you at the top, though. Quite a vast ruin and steeped in history.

The day before I planned to run, as I say, we walked to the summit, the mistake we made was walking up the road and down the trail. It would have been much better the other way around. The road was fairly easy.

The trail coming down… not so much 🤣

The following day I found running up and down that hill looked tough but was a lot easier than it looked and in the heat of a Grecian sun was so enjoyable.

On the final day we visited the volcano at Nea Kameni, this is nothing like Etna as the crater is underwater but sparked the legend of Atlantis. It’s main eruption around 1645BC wiped out the Minoan Civilisation with columns of ash and gas reaching kilometres into the air and and a massive tsunami.

So that’s about it my friends, we got to see the famous sunset from the boat as we headed home and I guess as sunsets go it was OK (bearing in mind I am a Yorkshireman 😉)

Happy Trails x

Women Runners and the Stigma

February 24th 1981 (45 years ago) the IOC President announced there would be a women’s marathon at the Los Angeles Olympic Games in 1984. Before that it was considered unsafe. Even as late as 1967 it was thought that if a woman ran marathons her uterus may drop out and hairs would grow on her chest and back. It had been a long a struggle. One of the most famous campaigners, being Katherine Switzer who entered the Boston Marathon in 1967. Just after the race started the run director ran at her, trying to rip her numbers off and shouting. ‘Get out of my race!’ Her boyfriend, Tom Miller, knocked him to the ground and she carried on to finish the race.

Hard to believe these days when we have so many accomplished female athletes. But are we there yet? As late as 2010 Gian-Franco Kasper, president of the International Ski Federation, said the female uterus might burst during landing from a ski jump. In 2005 he said that ski jumping is “not appropriate for ladies from a medical point of view.”

Another myth is that extreme exercise halts women’s periods. Whereas the truth is… that weight loss is a more likely reason. Girls gain weight when they reach puberty. If young female athletes are encouraged or even bullied into losing weight this can result in eating disorders. When they expend more calories than they take in? Normal body functions like menstruation can stop, due to a lack of nutrients. If menstruation is halted for a long period of time, with a lack of nutrients, it increases the risk for low bone mineral density. This, at a time when they’re bodies are developing and so leads to injury. Leslie Heywood and Mary Decker two of many examples. I’m no medical expert, but I’ve seen how many of our top young athletes have suffered injury after injury early in their careers.

blogs.bmj.com/bjsm/2015/05/14/highlights-from-the-female-athlete-basem-spring-conference-2015/↗

But anyaways… back to the subject. After years of struggle and establishing themselves on the world stage of athletics it appears it’s still not over. Eilish McColgan has had abuse because “some” people think she is too thin. I know some excellent female runners who have been told they aren’t slim enough. Someone’s size, weight etc has nothing to do with anyone else. The stereotype that women are weaker and less athletic is inaccurate and damaging. Whether it is on the world stage or at local club level, the fantastic success of females should be (and sometimes is) recognised upon their ability and not on their looks or gender.

Finally… sixty percent of female runners claim to have been harassed, verbally abused or even physically abused while running. I remember some years ago when I was working in construction two young lads wolf whistled at a woman from the scaffold. She reported it to a manager and they were sacked that day. Yet here we are ten years later and it appears to be worse than ever. The question is what can we do? You can raise awareness, educate, legislate (but it’s already illegal) In my day a baseball bat or a lump of 2″x 2″ with some nails hammered in, worked wonders. But that is frowned upon today 😉So we advise girls not to run at night, on their own. Hmmm… isn’t that kinda handing over the streets to the bullies and abusers?

Happy trails, folks. x

Mnt Etna. The Peace of a Volcano

As a writer I enjoy the peace of the wilds. It helps me think, especially when I am running or even hiking. Be it the countryside or top of a mountain, I have started and finished stories in my head while surrounded by nature. So when my dear wife suggested we climb Mount Etna on a recent visit to Sicily, I was all for it.

Mount Etna’s eruptions have been documented by us mere humans for 2,700 years and is one of the worlds most active volcanoes, and the highest (11,014ft), most active in Europe. But this doesn’t make it one of the most dangerous. Because it is so active, and constantly releasing steam, the eruptions have less force. Needless to say, it is also very well monitored.

We drove up to the base a few days before we intended to climb and spoke to a local guide, Nino Scandura. We struck a deal and as there were no other people choosing to go on the day we wanted, it would be just the three of us. A little more expensive but, truly, it was worth it. To say he was extremely helpful and professional would be an understatement. He was fantastic.

We started the climb by cable car, yeah… I know what you’re thinking. Why didn’t we walk? To walk the 10,000ft from the bottom would take too long, trust me 😂. Honestly? I was a little disappointed at first, especially when he said after the cable car we get a bus. But when you alight from the bus at 10,000 ft and realise that walking a few yards takes a lot of effort, it makes sense. We were told it was not suitable for anyone with Asthma or a heart condition, and once we got off the bus and began to climb I could certainly understand why. The air was so thin any strenuous activity leaves you breathless. Although… we chose not to take the bus back and trekked all the way down to the cable car, it was hard going. The hike to the summit and back was a mere 10k but took us five and a half hours. I run 10k in 42 minutes! When you are hiking up to the summit it is so quiet, so peaceful and you have time to consider life.

It was my wife’s birthday a few days before and I’m not sure how Nino knew this but after a gruelling climb to the summit he produced a bottle of red wine. I thought it was a joke and cynically asked. “Do you have a corkscrew?” He replied. “Of course, Happy birthday, Gillian.” And produced three glasses, he then poured us all, a glass of very welcome wine.

We hiked our way around the summit while Nino explained the history of Etna and pointed out the four active craters. There was quite a lot of gas emissions and the smell of sulphur hung heavily in the air. This didn’t help our breathing, but as we are both physically fit we coped fine.

Eventually it was time to hike our way back down. Now that was scary. I’ve always found climbing up something relatively easy, not so much coming down though. We had to change route at one stage due to the wind blowing the sulphur across our chosen path. There’s only so much of that stuff you can breathe in. Underfoot was tricky too, hence the walking poles, gloves and helmets. Hiking across the lava fields was akin to walking on shards of glass. Nino explained that to fall would rip your skin to shreds… comforting!

So there you are. If you ever get the chance to visit Sicily I recommend Etna as an adventure. I can also strongly recommend Nino as a guide. As well as being an expert on Etna, he supplied the walking sticks, boots, helmets and gloves as part of the deal. He asked for my WhatsApp details and when I arrived back at our base he had sent me over thirty photographs and videos of our hike.

Happy trails, folks x