Tag: author

Where It All Began 31 The Finale

After eleven years in Hampshire, we decided it was time for a change. Well, someone did 😂. We’d enjoyed the time in sleepy Over Wallop. I’d got some running in, lots of hiking, and we’d had some adventures in Cuba, Italy, Spain and Greece. Although my running was still mainly for fun, I did a couple of races with good times.

York was a strong possibility but no teaching jobs were coming up. Eventually Beverley College advertised for a Carpentry Lecturer. I travelled up for the interview and it was less pay, but this was East Yorkshire, not Hampshire, and I was promised promotion to Team Leader. So starts the finale. (Yup last one in this series folks) I have to say the first 12 months were difficult! If you’ve ever worked in education you’ll know that there is a lot of BS. The promotion never happened. When I left Fareham college we had had been given Outstanding by OFSTED, voted College of the Year by TESS, and the principle recieved an MBE for services to Education. I’m not one to winge, so lets just say Beverley College wasn’t Fareham 😂.

Gillian and I continued to visit Greece often, and I took advantage of the hilly trails to get up early and test myself. I joined a running club for the first time and started competing seriously, finishing 1st, 2nd, or third in my age group regularly in races. I also started doing Triathlons, now these are fun, if you take out the swimming and the cycling 😂I fancied a marathon but Ultras seemed more attratctive. I tried a 35 mile Ultra and found it quite good fun. I completed my first marathon race with a time of 03:36:00 in 2022. I’d run long distances before but never competitvely, so fairly happy with that. After that I did the Hardwolds 40 which is good value as they give you an extra 7 miles for free. So 47 miles in ten and half hours was kinda acceptable.

I changed my job at the college to Apprentice Assessor, which meant no more classrooms, and spent my time on site assessing apprentices in the work place. But i wanted to write. I’d done a course with the Writers Bureau some years back and if you want a comprehensive writing course I’d highly reccommend them. I completed my first novel in 2022. The Siege of Mr Khan’s Curry Shop, loosely based on my experiences in Bradford in the early 1970s. It was intended to be a one off, but people kept asking me. “What happens next?” I decided to retire and take my running and writing seriously. I published a sequel in 2025 Who’s Got The Biscuits and both books have had some success, and I have to mention Esther Chilton here because I couldn’t have done it without her editorial expertise. And of course Gillian for her continued support, and I have to say “patience” 😂 That’s basically it! Thank you if you’ve stayed all the way through, I do really appreciate your support and comments 💜If you remember at the very beginning I said I’d asked my wife if I should get therapy and recieved and empathatic. “No! It would be too much for them.” Maybe now you understand her answer? 😂

Happy Trails, Folks x

Messing in Morocco

I’ve wanted to go to Morocco ever since I started writing my second book, Who’s Got The Biscuits. A tad late for research but not for marketing. The first place I needed to visit was a Souk. If you’ve read the book you’ll know that’s where Janine gets…. Ah, no spoilers 😂

I had to have a Gandora as I’ve wanted one ever since I watched Lawrence of Arabia years ago😉. The Moroccan people are just lovely and I received a lot of compliments while I was wandering around making marketing videos. Did you know I was a TikTok Creator? 😂😂 The hotel we stayed in was excellent, with great rooms, views, and food.

But you know how I love the trails. So we contacted a local guide and at 7:30 am began our assault on El Gouz in the Atlas range. It was only 12k, but as mountains tend to go up, it was rather steep.

We met a couple of friends on the way and they stayed with us for the entire day.

Once at the top the views were spectacular and well worth the 4 hour climb up there.

So, mission accomplished, fascinating adventure, great seaside runs, cultural experiences and lots of research and marketing material.

Happy Trails, Folks x

Where It All Began 29

Prison

Sometimes in life you just get a hankering to do some good. In 2003 I decided to become a prison officer at Feltham Young Offenders. The advert said I would be helping to rehabilitate young men aged between 17 and 21. Yeah, that sounded like a good idea. After completing written and role play tests and an interview I was in, and began a twelve week training programme. It went well apart from one day. In a pretend senario I had to enter a room where an officer was supposedly unconcious, his keys missing and the prisoners gone. I radioed it in, but I then saw someone skulking in a cupboard. I was quick off the mark, kicking the door open, and shouted, “Show yourself. Now!” A female officer with a clipboard in one hand and holding her nose with the other hand appeared. My radio crackled and the test examiner said. “Mr Robinson, she’s an observer!”

There isn’t much I can say about the next twelve months, it was a prison. I had a great rapport with the inmates and got some good results. There was a fancy dress graduation ball, I refrained from picking anyone up and carrying them out though.😂

BUT… There was a lot of stuff happened. Lets just say I wasn’t happy with some people’s behaviour which made it increasingly difficult to do my job. I became frustrated with some superiors and other officers. I found out later, some had been sacked. Now prison inmates at that age are not very clever, lets face it if they were, they wouldn’t be there. I remember two in particular. They had robbed a Marks & Spencer payroll office, thrown their masks, shotguns, and loot into the boot of the getaway car and were homefree. Half a mile away a police car came up behind them and pulled them over. They were baffled, it had only been 5 mins since the robbery, but they stopped the car and ran. The police caught them, returned them to the car and opened the boot. They were arrested on the spot. Does that make them dumb? Certainly the getaway driver was, the reason they were stopped is because he forgot to put the car lights on. 😂

One day I was chatting to those two lads and they asked me what I did before. I told them I was a site carpenter and when they asked what I built? I said mainly hospitals and schools (it was the Tony Blair years) They replied. “Building hospitals and schools is more important than this, Guv. You’re wasting your skills babysitting us. We’ll never change.” That was the beginning of the end. At the time I had a new senior officer and we had been doing a lot of good work, but he was replaced by another chap. A martial arts expert and he undid everything we’d achieved. The governors weren’t really interested and after a long chat with my wife and my old boss. I went back to building hospitals and schools. It was 2004. Times were booming, including me there were foremen with a construction site each and thirty five carpenters working for us. I’d found my place at last. What could possibly go wrong?

Happy Trails, Folks x

Where It All Began 28

Sally and I had been running Night Owls, the largest Mobile Disco company in Yorkshire for five years. In the December of 2000 we had thirty mobile rigs in the store and had hired thirty five DJ’s. Christmas parties were at an all time high and we did 308 functions that December. We’d managed to get away a few times, visiting Kenya and Sri Lanka, but they were brief visits and I always felt disappointed when we left.

I was still running, completing several half marathons in a time of one and a half hours. I’d joined the local gym and taken up Kickboxing, but after two years, and in my forties, it was getting tough. One night I broke three ribs, which kinda hampered installing disco rigs, so I called it a day. The next challenge was to climb the National Three peaks in 36 hours with the boxing club.

We had a great time, but it got me to thinking. There was more to life.

Sally and I were at loggerheads, she fancied selling up and settling down with ordinary jobs. So inevitably we sold the business, paid my old bosses off and went our seperate ways, all very amicable and everyone happy. But I needed a plan, so as breather, I rented a small flat in Boston Spa and worked the night shifts for my old kickboxing instructor who owned a security business. That was fun, especially one night when I came across a guy in a lorry park, slitting open the side of a lorry with a knife. Sadly he managed to get away. I’d been single for a while and had two ideas for the future. One – Buy a smallholding in France from where I could get anywhere in Europe. Two – Rejoin the Foreign Legion if I could get away with lying about my age 😂 It was around this time I reconnected with Gillian. We’d met in 1990. I’d made a few moves on her at the time, but she was engaged and I was rebuffed 😂. After she married and Sally and I became an item, we all became close friends, but she’d divorced in 2000, and moved to Bracknell as Operation Manager of Oakley Court Hotel, which had been used for the Hammer House of Horrors back in the day. We got on famously, even though we were in different parts of the country. Eventually I moved to Bracknell and as a stopgap took a job as a Carpenters hand (labourer)

Surprisingly I enjoyed having a proper job and working on a constuction site. After six months I qualified as a Level 2 Site carpenter, a year later I took my Level 3 and the boss made me a foreman with my own site. Gillian and I married, and everything was hunky dory.

But there was something niggling at me and one day I saw an advert for Prison Officers to train and work at Feltham Young Offenders prison. TBC 😂

Happy Trails, Folks x.

Jack Sparrow Goes Dragon Boat Racing

A few months ago I joined a second running club called Fitmums&Friends. They are more relaxed and not just about fitness but mental health, wellbeing and they are a registered charity. My main club City of Hull AC are… shall we say competitive. Anyaways… They decided to have a Dragon Boat race between all the different Fitmums groups. Ten teams, twelve in a team, two boats. I started with an idea to where a bandana, this became a bandana and a hat. Later, I thought why not a white shirt and a waistcoat, and maybe I could grow a beard. I guess you know where this is going? 😂

The day was a huge success, apart from the half hour of rain for our first race, which left me worrying that my mascara had run. Talking of mascara, how do you ladies do it? It was hell! Everytime Gillian came near my eye I backed off, so she practically had me in a head lock 😂 One thing that amused me was people’s reaction. I was the carpark attendant in the beginning, and some people gave me a second look, but most people were completely blasé, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

A good day was had by all, sadly we came fifth, but I honestly believe avoiding a collision from another team hampered our chances. Plus my dressing up idea caught on with the rest of the team. So you have to take into account that, while some teams trained, we were occupied with the outfits and getting our chant right 😂

It also gave me the opportunity to make a couple of very short promotional videos for the socials 😂I’ve dropped the YouTube links in below as I say they’re very short, but may make you smile 😂Happy Trails, Folks x

Where It All Began 27

When the apple picking ended I needed something to occupy me until December. And then? I hear you ask. The plan was to head to Greece for some orange picking. I got a message from my niece remember her?

The Author as a boy

She was now married with three children, just moved into a house in Lincoln, and needed a bathroom tiling, a patio laying and rooms decorated. So in exchange for food and board we travelled to Lincoln, and I began work. Oh! Did I mention I built a rabbit ramp and taught them to climb? 😂The time passsed very quickly and it was great to catch up. But a circular patio, a bit of painting, and tiling doesn’t take long.

By November I needed to crack on, but it was too early for Greece so I contacted my old disco boss. Christmas parties were looming and I knew he’d be desparate for DJ’s. I was right, he immediately offered his caravan at his base for Sally and myself. I could do as many disco’s as I wanted, and he’d pay me to help install the rigs. We arrived on 20th November at 4pm. The first thing he said was. “Take my business off me, please!” They had had enough. The new manager hadn’t worked out, and believe it or not, it was a stressfull business. Especially in December when we would be expected to carry out over 200 events. The venues I had secured during the recession would possibly give you one wedding a week. But in December they could have up five function rooms operating every night, full with Christmas parties, and as the resident disco company you were expected to supply the entertainment for all of them. By 7pm Sally and I were in the pub discussing the logistics. We decided it was an interesting offer, there was only one problem, we didn’t have any money 😂.

We went back and I offered them a deal. I would pay them a certain amount each year for ten years. I would get a mortgage through the business and move the entire operation away. In other words they could retire. I got us through that December “94” (Could be a song there 😂) And the following Spring we found a house with a huge workshop and a swimming pool attached. The only problem was the huge garden, but hey! I could get a gardener to sort that😂

I had ideas for the pool. I knocked a door through from the workshop to allow for loading, and boarded the pool over to make a store. And voila! From humble apple picker six months ago, I was now the owner of the largest disco business in the North of England 😂

What could go wrong?

Happy Trails, Folks x

Where It All Began 26

Our new home was a field. It was an apple farm after all. We were the first to arrive, and the boss told us it would be few days before we would start work. Funds were low, so we had jam sandwiches for lunch and salad every day for dinner. Luckily the blackberries were ripe so a late summer evening walk provided us with a pudding. Eventually the field filled with prospective apple pickers and we started work. He paid £40 for every crate you filled and I was managing four per day. Sadly it started to rain on the first day and continued for over three weeks, the cheap Argos tent leaked and we had to put the duvet in the hop house to dry each day.

There was a great mixture of people, Scots, English, and an Italian lad. When you pick an apple you can’t dig your fingers in, you must use the palm of your and gently twist it off. When you drop the apples into the crate it has to be done gently. These are key rules to prevent bruising. Everyday an inspector picks three apples from your crate, ripens them overnight and if you have bruised apples three days on the trot you’re fired. The young Italian sang. He sang all day as he tugged the fruit from the tree and slammed it into the crates. The inspector returned every morning and gave him a warning. As entertaining as it was, I tried to tell my Italian friend, but in return he would say. “Va tutto bene, è tutto bellissimo,” and smile. They fired him on the third day. Because of the continuing damp weather Sally’s asthma got worse and she became quite ill. I looked in the local paper and found a proper tent for £30. I picked it up and erected it the same night. It was larger and older than I had anticipated and the next day the farmer enquired as to who had built a house in his field.

At least Sally was dry and she took a few days off. The two Scottish lads were the next to be fired. On their last night they told me they had sneaked into the barn and urinated on the crates in retaliation. I’ve never eaten a Cox’s Pippin since.😂 The apples you pick in September are stored and go on sale the following year, just in case you wonder why fresh apples go off so quickly. By the end of September there were only two of us left. It rained on our final morning as we attacked the last remaing trees. The farmer paid us and we retired to the pub for a hearty meal. I’d made just short of £700, but it had rained everyday. We sat by the fire and chatted as we ate. As the sweet arrived the sun broke out across the countryside. 😂

It was time to say goodbye. I had an idea to drive down to Greece and pick oranges, but the winter harvest was in full swing from November to January and offered the highest number of available jobs. What to do until November? I knew something would pop up. After all it always did, didn’t it?

Happy Trails, Folks x

Whitby Revisited

We had guests over for the weekend from the south and thought it would be a good idea to take them to Whitby. Whitby Abbey is a great land mark. While we usually think of the iconic Whitby Abbey falling into ruin due to King Henry VIII or centuries of brutal North Sea weather, it actually survived a direct naval attack. On December 16, 1914, the German Navy launched a surprise raid on the Yorkshire coast. Whitby was hit by over a dozen shells in a matter of minutes. The coastguard station was targeted, and several shells struck the beautiful sandstone walls of the abbey itself.

Gillian had made a lovely picnic, and so my fish and chips plan was thwarted. When I last picnicked out in the wilds, a seagull had appeared from nowhere. This time I felt the edge of a graveyard would be safe, and the feathered beggars were nowhere to be seen. Of course once the food is laid out it’s kinda inevitable.

The small church has a sign that says: “Please don’t ask staff where Dracula’s grave is. There isn’t one!” 😂 After my post last year you’re all familiar with the fact that Dracula came ashore at Whitby disguised as a dog, so I won’t repeat myself, but he’s still here in the Dracula museum, after all these years.

Of course the Goths have made it their Jerusalem (might be a bit dramatic there, but I am supposed to be a writer😂) Walking through the streets this past Saturday, I couldn’t help but think about how this town transforms into a sea of spectacular outfits every Spring and Autumn for the Whitby Goth Weekend.

Whatever the weather, whatever your situation is, Whitby is always a great place to visit. Our guests loved it!

Happy Trails, Folks x

Malham Tarn

Malham Tarn hike is quite lovely, probably lovlier when the sun is shining. But we decided to go on the first rainy day of the summer. These hikes have taken a different turn these days. Now I see them as potential TikTok posts, apparently I am an influencer 😂 My last Godfather post on TikTok\Instagram recieved 5,000 views, not as many as Lady GaGa yet but I’ve noticed that in the six months I’ve been doing it I’ve sold 2-3 books a month. Not a lot but 2-300% more than previously 😂 Anyaways I digress. Just over 4miles it was an interesting walk. Apparently Malham Tarn was formed 10,000 years ago.

As you hike futher on you get a good view of the cliffs opposite the Tarn with a pleasant hike up onto the moor, and some visible wildlife but they were quite still😉

There were some eerie looking houses on the way. With, I figured, a certain Miss Haversham interior as they looked deserted.

Places like this are great for pondering, and I do like a good ponder. In fact if I wrote as much as I pondered I’d probabably have ten books finished by now 😂 Once we got up onto the top I was surprised to find a smelt mill. Built in 1815 by Lord Ribbelsdale to process lead, copper and zinc.

Even with the inclement weather it was a good day out. With ice cream at the end. The scenery fit with our current viewing as we are watching the final season of Outlander. If you’re familiar with it the heroine passes backwards and forwards through time by pacing her hands on the “Stones” I gave it a try but as Gillian remarked. “Oh! you’re still here!”

Happy Trails, Folks x

A Day Off And A Bit of History

As a DJ (that’s a different story) I spent a lot of time around York, (or as the locals call it “Yark”) but not much sight seeing. So we decided to visit, walk the walls and grab a bite to eat. The Roman fort dates back to 71 AD, but the actual walls were built in the 13th and 14th centuries. And you thought I was old?

Whenever I visit places like this I get inspired, at least I like to think I do. Five caesars visited York unless you count Constantine but he was already there when he was proclaimed Emperor, so I guess the Romans were quite fond of the place. I have to admit the only one I know is Hadrian but I always thought he was a bricklayer. It’s 5k to walk all the way round, and there is a great view of the rear of York Minster it was wooden originally in 627 AD, turned to stone by the Normans in 1080, but the one we see now was built 1220 to 1472.

It gives you time to think, and I got a TikTok video out of it. You’ve probably realised by now this isn’t a lesson in history 😂 I did get some ideas for the new book though.

After the walls I got my reward. Food, there always has to be food involved with any trip or else I don’t go 😂 This time it was the Ivy, which is related to the one in London. I’ve been there. There’s something about these places, where writers and artists frequented in the 1920s. The Ivy in York is a spin off from the one in London, and the food and service is amazing.

I like to eat vegetarian sometimes when I go out as I’m a bit of a carnivore at home. This time I went with a Cheese Soufle and a Sweet Potato Curry. A pint of Guinness, half a bottle of Merlot and a double Jack Daniels. Well, c’mon a day off training? I may as well enjoy it 😂

That’s probably my last treat for a while as it’s the Yorkshire Three Peaks run in five weeks. Twenty four miles and 5,200 feet of elevation.

Well, y’gotta mix it up a bit? 😂

Happy Trails, Folks x